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Home  /  #SatireSaturday • 2nd Amendment  /  Australian in therapy after Americans mock her shit opinions on gun control

Australian in therapy after Americans mock her shit opinions on gun control

fouadmin August 10, 2019 #SatireSaturday, 2nd Amendment 8 Comments

A Manly woman is being treated for shock and hurt feelings, as a social media post went horribly wrong.

Saffron Harrison, 26, was admitted to hospital seeking psychiatric treatment last night after her lengthy Facebook tirade about gun control in the United States was savagely criticised, leading her to delete both the post and her trip to the US.

Harrison, who was emotionally spent from posting on Kristina Kenneally’s page telling the NRA to “butt out of Australia” the week before, took to Facebook to let her thoughts known in the wake of two shootings.

In addition to sharing a link from the Sydney Morning Herald, this is what Harrison had to say:

“Thoughts and prayers going to fix this again America? Speaking as an Australian, I think it’s time Americans fixed their bloody gun laws like we did. This is the only place in the world that this actually happens. These rapid fire semi-automatic assault rifles are weapons of war and no-one needs them. Give me one bloody good reason you bloody rednecks need one other than to compensate for your tiny penis!! You care about your bloody guns more than your bloody kids’ lives!! Fighting back against the government is a total fantasy when the government has tanks and planes. Give up your bloody guns already!”

Donald Trump was also not spared:

“Drumpf is clearly in bed with NRA. The Cheeto cares more about locking kids up in cages than he does about their lives! I’m so glad I live in Australia!”

However, several American commenters took exception to Harrison’s public post and responded in kind.

Here’s some of what Harrison was subjected to:

“There’s no such thing as rapid fire semi-automatic assault weapons. At least know something about firearms before you critique them.”

“Per capita murder has dropped nearly 49% since the 1980’s while there are now over 400 million guns, but according to the media it’s a total war zone over here.”

“Trump is a dictator that locks people in cages at the border but you support his red flag laws so he can have all the guns? Lol ok then.”

“You don’t believe in a second amendment because fighting back against government tyranny is a fantasy. So, you think the citizens of Hong Kong should just lie down and die as the Chinese PLA goes Tiananmen 2.0 on their ass?”

 “Over 22,000 pieces of legislation at the federal, state and county level but apparently we haven’t done enough to regulate firearms. Good one Saffron.”

“Rights are not about need and need is an authoritarian argument. We don’t care what you think of our rights, convict, because you guys can’t even speak freely.”

“It was horrible. No-one should have to experience differing points of view,” Harrison said.

“All I wanted some fast validation from my friends and what I got was destroyed.”

Harrison, who states she doesn’t know what the gun laws are but ‘heard they are pretty bad’, has suffered more than just a bruised ego. The backlash has prompted her to cancel her upcoming speaking tour on gun control in California and New York.

“Everything’s been really stressful. I have had to reschedule and go to Europe for 5 weeks on a holiday instead. Mum and Dad were kind enough to say I don’t have to pay the money back.”

Boyfriend Ben Davies was cathartic but honest about the incident.

“I think her problem was that she wasn’t being patronising or condescending enough,” Davies said.

“She was already on the back foot not having any firearms experience or subject matter knowledge. Often you can mask that with appeals to emotion and vacuous moralising, but she needs to work on those.”

“She needs to go with more than a snarky ‘thought and prayers’ because it’s not really edgy or original and frankly just makes you sound like a dickhead.”

AFP Superintendent Chris Roberts urged caution on social media and that being an ultracrepidarian isn’t for everyone.

“Australians are well-known for their patronising lectures of American culture. There’s a time and place for them but the public need to understand the risks of airing completely shit opinions online.”

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8 Comments

  1. David Pickford Reply
    10 August, 2019 at 2:29 pm

    Good, l hope she never recovers, we have no rights to lecture others what they MUST do, to suggest changes is reasonable but to demand changes and to call anyone derogatory names is disgraceful behaviour. As for her attack on their President that’s just as bad, like it or not he is doing what the majority of Americans want done and saying what may possibly be what the majority of people around the world think regards sovereign rights and immigration.

  2. Anonymous Reply
    10 August, 2019 at 7:57 pm

    Stupid bitch

  3. Paul Reply
    11 August, 2019 at 10:34 am

    Even though this is clearly satirical, it is not that far removed from reality

  4. Mick Reply
    16 August, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    The irony in these kinds of hysterical outbursts is always completely lost on the professionally outraged twats that spout them.

    Calls Americans rednecks; lives in a country with 3rd-world infrastructure and an unabashedly proud tradition of anti-intellectualism where the uneducated, drunken manual labourer is basically king and tradies make more money than scientists.

    Believes Trump is a dictator; wants said dictator to have a monopoly on the use of force and to disarm his citizens.

    Claims semi-automatic rifles are “weapons of war” and no one should have them; doesn’t give a flying fuck that we’re still in Afghanistan and Iraq serving a Globalist-led occupation that has murdered over a million innocent civilians and that our ever-militarised police forces are now patrolling suburban streets with those very same “weapons of war”.

    And it’s always a one-way street of preaching too, as the Americans just couldn’t give a flying fuck about involving themselves in our irrelevant, 3rd-world, back-water affairs nor deriving any source of inspiration from this bunch of servile cowards, which to them simply look a retarded relation of theirs performing a bad parody of 1984.

    The other thing that always, ALWAYS comes up in these copy-pasted arguments leveled by clueless Australians is the “government stronk/bombs and tanks beat guns and bullets” claim and despite people countering this horseshit time and time again with examples like the Vietcong, the Mujahideen in Afghanistan, the Chechen Wars of the 1990s, the and the uprisings against the Ottoman Empire in the late 1800s, they still believe that armed resistance against oppressive regimes and states is always doomed to fail.

    Tanks and bombs and air superiority are for turning areas into glass parking lots. You can destroy infrastructure and combatants, you can temporarily occupy an area, but you cannot control it with firepower alone. They’re not the tools of tyrants; tyrants don’t want to rule over rubble, they want to rule over people and they need living bodies to man the machinery of their oppression and extract the wealth from the land, and to do that you need jackboot Johnnies with guns and a Stasi-like secret police, not tanks and bombs.

    Citizens with guns can beat jackboots with guns and have done so many a time throughout just modern history alone, and this is why an armed populace is the only defence against tyranny.

    Moreover, all of these martial law/guerrilla warfare scenarios ignore the glaringly obvious fact that a majority of US servicemen in all branches of their armed forces are die hard patriots and supporters of the 2nd Amendment and would never follow orders to disarm their own citizenry nor wantonly target their own civilian populations. Even most police chiefs and sheriffs in America are pro-2nd Amendment and would tell the federal government to piss off if they attempted to coerce them to enforce some massive gun confiscation.

    • Leo Colbert Reply
      20 August, 2019 at 11:09 am

      I was going to comment on this article but alas i could not,Micks comment said it all and better than i ever could have.

    • Anonymous Reply
      24 August, 2019 at 6:57 pm

      Please remind me exactly when Australia had “3rd would infrastructure” exactly we have excellent infrastructure, economy, democratic government and also healthcare – but of course in America helping people stay alive is clearly communism right. Have you happened to notice that Australia has had only 1 mass shooting with 4 dead this year while your great country has had a total 248 mass shootings and 246 people killed, its only been 235 days since the start of the year. It seems a little disproportionate to you maybe?

      Here is a somewhat off center table of statistics

      2019 US Mass Shooting Statistics By Month
      Month Mass Shootings Total number killed Total number wounded Occurred at a school Occurred at a place of worship
      January 28 48 86 0 0
      February 22 38 68 0 0
      March 21 13 89 0 0
      April 34 23 136 1 1
      May 43 40 181 1 0
      June 48 34 217 0 0
      July 52 50 202 0 0
      August
      September
      October
      November
      December
      Total 248 246 979 2 1

      Maybe the fact that your citizens can literally buy the same weapons that the army uses (therefore known as weapons of war) might let you know that its a little unsafe over there. You can buy an Ar 15 before you can buy beer in America, at gun shows which are commonly found all over the country – you don’t even need a background check. America may have done a lot to protect people from guns except perhaps stop selling them to literally anyone who wants to

  5. Kevin Clark Reply
    29 January, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    >“Rights are not about need and need is an authoritarian argument. We don’t care what you think of our rights, convict, because you guys can’t even speak freely.”
    >you guys can’t even speak freely

    I’m guessing that this is in reference to the “hate speech” laws in Australia? If so, I’m sure Australia is freer in that regard than certainly any European country, but it’s still bad that such laws exist, even if the Abbott Government (had?) managed to water them down. That’s another reason why I’m glad that I was born and live in the USA, for the First Amendment, and there’s no other country I know of that has something equivalent in their national constitution with the exception of Japan (Article 21 of the Constitution of Japan). It absolutely boggles my mind that in the start of this (third?) decade in the 21st century, that people can be fined and/or jailed for speaking or publishing publicly something that the state doesn’t like.

    Anyway, I hope you guys are able to get all your gun rights back that you had prior to 1996, I’m glad to see that gun control shills keep getting blown out in arguments, and are completely losing in the information war. Such things should be seen as whitepills for gun rights advocates, never let yourselves get blackpilled and demoralized, that’s what the shills want.

    • Toni Smith Reply
      16 May, 2020 at 8:52 pm

      Kevin I wish i was born in the USA and she is extremely lucky she did not get me replying to her rant as what most of the replies she got were tame compared to what i would have said. I have been actively fighting against all these infringements since 1990… before the NFA (I call it the No Fucking Agreement).

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